It’s Hard Being Good (around food)

I am one fidgety little lady today. It’s like I want to do everything but work. Today was no different. My sleep was interrupted by slight body aches from working out too much but at the same time I was waking up being like “Should I workout again today or take a break?”. So, the first thing I did when I woke up was some exercising. My body is burning but I don’t want to rest. And there’s a slight fear I have about resting.

When I rest I eat. If I sit for too long I know I’ll want to eat. There’s nothing wrong with eating but when you’ll eat everything in the fridge and cupboard within 30 minutes… yeah there’s an issue. So, to try to curb that habit I feel like I have to keep busy. It’s working so far but I can feel my body slowing telling me to stop.

My dresses came for the wedding next week. Actually they came 2 days ago. I ended up buying 2 because I couldn’t make up my mind on which one would suit me. Turns out they’re both cute and I still can’t decide. So, I guess their coming to Sydney with me and I’ll figure it out when I get there. I tried them on and one fits better than the other so I’m real motivated to get me inside it without having a popped zipper later.

The last 2 days I’ve been really watching what I’ve been eating. EXTREMELY closely! We’re back into the game of weighing everything and cutting the crap out. Not going too bad either. I have been using replacement shakes the last couple days for breakfast and dinner. To honest it’s probably for the best. I never have breakfast anyways so at least I’m putting something in me other than coffee. Lunch was another salad but I ate throughout the day. Because I ate my lunch at the computer I told myself I needed a break and went to workout for 30 minutes while work was quiet. Just to get it out of my system.

I came home, finished work, had another shake by 5pm and off I went for the second time to break a sweat. When I got home I was still so fidgety. I just wanted to do something. I wasn’t ready to stop. So I convinced Brendan to come with me for a walk with the boys.

After that I told myself I needed to chill. Cause I did. I have a bit of a headache and the my arms and legs are starting to ache. I decided tomorrow is a rest day. Half because I have to rest and the other half because I need to go shopping for some shoes for these dresses.

With all this hard work though, I don’t know what I expect. I stripped down to take a look at myself and see if there’s any difference.

Not really.

Then I weighed myself.

HOW THE FUCK HAVE I NOT LOST ANYTHING YET!!?

Not going to lie, I felt a little discouraged. For someone who has dealt with weight loss the way I have for years, slow and steady isn’t something I’m used to. Dropping 1.5kgs a week if I wanted to in a very unhealthy way is the thing I’m used to. And instant results. In the back of my mind I’m thinking “my god if you just do what you normally do you would have been down a kilo already”. And it’s true. BUT!!!! I’m going to try this out. I’m going to try not being destructive and just hold on until I something happens. It’s just annoying. They want you to put more food in you but I’m used to having it out so the scale is recognizing this stuff in me and then the scale and I have a staring match. I stand on it with my hands on my hips, fully naked (which is a horrible angle to see yourself from the reflection of the scale) and just go “How!?”.

It better show something different tomorrow morning. Or I’m going to be pretty…. Confused.

Maybe it’s not the scales problem and I’m just getting old. People say it’s harder to lose weight the older you get and I swear to god if that’s the case, I give up already.

Hand over the frind chicken and leave me alone!

Let’s give this another week seeing as that’s all I have until this wedding.

P.S. Brendan bought a kebab and chips with a coke for his dinner.
I can smell it throughout the whole house.
He asked me if I wanted some to which I replied…. “No” and sadly shook my head.
He started talking about his game he was playing and I stared at the wall.
My mouth was salivating so bad I had to leave the room.

Go Me!!

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