It’s been a crazy few days. I’ve basically been anxiety ridden to the point of (as the title mentions) an E.R visit.
The weekend started off good. Saturday was mine and Brendan’s 3 year anniversary. Unfortunately, I don’t have any cute photos of us from the night but we looked great and spent some time in the city. We booked a nice hotel at the last minute. Like really last minute. 4pm the day before! I’m surprised anything was available especially since my only request was it has to have a spa bath. My request was granted!
We got drunk. Chilled. I fell asleep in the spa but all good. I lived and woke up in bed. Then we had an AMAZING all-you-can-eat breakfast. I really wish I had my phone charged because I ate some of the best eggs I ever had. The food was so good I’m considering booking another room just so I can enjoy the breakfast but remember my camera this time.
So, by this time it was Sunday. Our actual anniversary day. I was feeling chipper. I was just looking forward to going home and chilling out.
When we got home I ate some more and went to bed. I napped for a about 2 hours and woke up around 4pm. And that’s where it all went down hill.
Something didn’t feel right. I woke up with my heart racing. I sat there with my hand over my heart and had a some trouble breathing. I got up and walked to the bathroom to see how I’d manage getting there and it was a struggle. I was shakey and weak. And I started freaking out.
I told Brendan I didn’t feel too good and I thought I had to go to the E.R. He reassured me that I didn’t but I was convinced something wasn’t right. My heart was getting to 124bps when I was just sitting.
I got there. And we went in to the emergency room. Well, I did. Brendan wasn’t allowed in so I spent our anniversary in the hospital alone. After 4 hours in the waiting room, my heart didn’t let up. On the way to the hospital it jumped to 140 and I was just sitting in the car! The fuck!?
I got in to the doctor. I explained the situation. I also mentioned that I suffer from anxiety, do get panic attacks and also mentioned another personal little bit of information that I felt the doctor may be interested to know (it’s nothing too crazy. Very common but not nice to have).
In conclusion, I was in there for almost 10 hours. Put on a drip to get me some fluids for about 3 hours. So it was nice to lay in a bed I guess although it was freezing. I had low blood pressure, was told I need to see a psychologist (lucky for me that’s in motion atm) and also I need to get an ECHO as well as a harness monitor for some follow up monitoring. They did say my heart was pumping quickly…. but maybe that’s what it does now and I didn’t realize it before?
So that’s how I spent my anniversary!
Monday – I was exhausted and didn’t go to work. I told my boss while I was in there that I wouldn’t be into work so they expected it.
Tuesday – My anxiety is still shot. I don’t know wtf is going on but I’m starting to think it’s about all these things that are coming up and how I can’t control shit. I hate not being able to control things. Or if things start shifting from my routine, I’m not a fan. I managed to get my ass out to work out though so that did help. And honestly, working out has been helping with my mind a bit.
Wednesday (today) – I’ve been busy with work and people asking me questions every 2 seconds is starting to put me off. For the first time since being in my job I have ignored people or said ‘no’. I’m starting to realize I’m always available to everyone and I can’t be sometimes. But to be honest, I was just waiting to get the fuck off work so again, I can work out… which I did.
I’m lucky this week is really short. I got Friday off. Unfortunately Brendan doesn’t so I’m going to my friend Courtney’s place and hanging out with her for the night. So by the time I get home Brendan will be finished.
Another thing to look forward to is I got Monday off! So it’s an extra long weekend.
My plan is to play Elders Scroll Online which I’ve started getting back into, drinking wine and who knows what else (probably cleaning and working out).
And that has been my week so far!