I took a step in the right direction today in the form of physical activity. I’m not someone who likes to be active, but my body is slowly telling me that whatever I’m doing right now ain’t working anymore.
So, I took my ass out of the house and worked out for 2 hours. I wanted another “fresh” start feeling and was starting out slow. I was actually really excited too. I had this planned from yesterday and I guess it was such a positive and motivating thought (which is what I’ve been lacking) that I was so into the thought that I dreamt about it last night. Then throughout the day all I did was look at the damn clock so I could gtfo of my working duties and instead could work on myself.
I know I’ve had 2 years to do it but better late than never.
I’m surprised at how good it felt to be moving. Usually, I like to be horizontal as often as possible. I mean, I would always joke about how I don’t like moving (which isn’t really a funny joke because it’s true). I could have kept going. But after 2 hours I realized that my dogs needed food and the grocery store was going to close soon.
And I figured 2 hours was probably good enough for the 1st time.
I felt good though. Until I got in the car and sat there for a second. My legs felt numb which is starting to bring up a little concern about how I’m going to wake up tomorrow.
This should be interesting…. I’ll keep you posted on that.
I did dash down to the store and picked up some Greek yogurt and carrots for tomorrow.
In saying that, this is all to help with the mental side of life which hasn’t been 100% lately.
My motivation for work hasn’t got any better. If anything, I actually slept in today which is probably the 3rd time in the last 2 years I’ve done that. When this happens it’s usually because I’m over it or don’t like something that’s happening. You know… depression? Sometimes when you get it you don’t want to get up. That’s me. And I guess today I just wanted to stay in bed.
I’m still over it. Clearly.
I’ve been sitting here the last week trying to work out want I’m going to do.
Do I wait out the 3 months secondment (for the 4th/5th time)?
Do I bail before?
Do I use the next 3 months to figure out something else I can do?
I’m going more for the latter.
I also called a psychologist today that was referred by my GP. Unfortunately, they didn’t pick up so no appointment was made. But as you can see, there’s some progression happening here.
I’m feeling good about it. Yet still shit…
But still good 😊
I’mma sleep well tonight.