Not Off To A Good Start

It’s 1:15am on a Tuesday night. I feel like it’s deja-vu. Here I am, unintentionally watching that Game of Stones show (look back on my post from (I’m guessing) a 1 week ago).

The shit thing about the holiday period that it’s so hard to get back into work when the party’s over. I’ve been off work since the 20th of December. Came back yesterday (the 10th).  My body isn’t ready. It’s been conditioned to staying up until 4 or 5am watching nothing on tv. Sipping Vodka when I wanted and waking up when my body had had enough of being horizontal.

It was my first day back and I don’t think I need to admit that it was a fucking struggle. I managed. Barely. If I wasn’t able to continue working from home for the 2nd year, I know I wouldn’t have made it into the office. Thank fuck for that.

I had a brief meeting with my team today. Nothing much was said. I felt alittle awkward. When I got asked about how my holidays were I think I either sounded too enthusiastic about stuff happening in my life or maybe my audience just hadn’t mentally returned to work yet. People complained about covid, how they felt sick, how they felt like the holidays were too long. Then there was me. Explaining how I needed more time. How I could lay in bed for days on end not working. Telling everyone for the millionth time about my appointment for my license. I’m sorry if for once I’m excited about something!

Sometimes I feel my team is either too old, too mature or too stable for me. My little achievements don’t really make an impact on them. The things I’m working towards is old news. They got to these phases 10 years prior. Regardless, I’m excited and this week is going to be good.

Today is the start of my license week. Let’s call it that. Its not off to a good start. I was meant to have a look at a car I was interested in. My heart was set on it. Despite me messaging the dude all night and him agreeing to have me check it out he bailed at the last hour. I was gutted. I msged him about an hour before asking him if it was okay for me to still come around. Apparently, it was. But then suddenly he told me the car was sold. I legit just put my pants on and my dad was on his way to my house. The car was an hour and a half away. I was pissed

“You could have told me there was another buyer. But thanks”

Legit though… why didn’t they tell me there was more interests? I would have been there in the morning instead.

It’s okay though. I’m trying to talk myself out of the issue. As much as I liked the car there was some things I didn’t like. But due to the price, I made exceptions for the things it was lacking. I’m calling it out and saying the failure in this car is making way for a car that is more to my standard!

I don’t know why I’m acting in a rush to get a car. I suppose with everything finally coming into fruition Thursday, I feel like that’s the day of my independence and I want it.

But deep down I need to take a breath and realize there is no rush with the car. We have one here even if it’s not the ideal one for me.

In keeping up with the car/license theme this week my BAC Alcohol Breathalyzer came today. So that’s been fun. I figure if I’m going to get my license I should probably try to keep it. Brendan was very impressed with my prep and responsibility regarding my license.

I gotta admit that was really sweet that he noticed my efforts.

I know myself well enough to know that at times I have woken up drunk. Hence me buying the breathalyser. I would hate to be at someone’s house and drive over the limit. So, it’s good I will finally know if or when I can drive.

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