For over a week now I’ve been waking up with pressure in my head and bad migraines. I could be minding my business and I’ll get a sharp stab in the right side of skull that resonates behind my eye and will make me squint. When I’m not getting the stab, I just have a dull ache in my head.
On top of that I’ve been getting a sharp pain in my heart that will cause me to either grab my chest and rub or have me trying to catch my breath. I get a weird feeling in my arm, dizziness (ALL DAY) and palpitations.
The best way to describe this feeling is almost like being drunk but I’m not. Wobbly. Squinting to see straight. Asking Brendan to repeat himself cause sometimes I can’t hear properly. But the dull pain in the head is annoying.
The other day I was walking from my room, and I suddenly got short of breath. I tried to shake it off. I stretched, sat down, even laid on the bed. My heart was going like crazy, and I was so dizzy I was scared I was going to pass out. There’s been a couple times this week where I’ve been downstairs in the kitchen by myself, and I just didn’t feel right in the head. To minimize me blacking out and having a repeat of 2 years ago I brought myself upstairs where there’s carpet. Just in case. More accurately, I slowly shuffled upstairs because I was scared.
Side note: 2 years ago, I was standing in the kitchen doing the dishes and passed out. The room is tiled so I hit my head but thankfully Brendan just got home from work, so he took me to the hospital. Turns out I was dehydrated and low on some stuff I needed for my body to function.
I decided the best thing for me to do was to book in with a doctor. I opted for a telehealth appointment to be safe, and I booked it with a doctor I know and have seen before.
Let’s just say it was a total waste of time.
I told the doctor about my concerns. The migraines I’ve been having would be on file because I’ve been going to the clinic for years complaining about the same thing. He asked me what I was taking, and I told him just the generic stuff you find at grocery stores. Nothing was working though. I get over 6 hours of sleep a night, blah blah blah. I need something better.
He prescribed me some migraine wafer…. I take it if I feel a migraine coming… I don’t know how to predict a migraine but okay.
I then explained my concerns about my heart. I mentioned my arm hurting. I mentioned my constant dizziness. Shortness of breath. Palpitations. Pain. He asked me which arm, and I said my left. And it’s always in the same spot.
“It’s just anxiety. Don’t worry about it. I’ll give you a script for the wafer and a couple repeats”.
“Okay, thanks but back to my heart. How do I know if it’s anxiety and not something heart related?” I asked.
“When you get the pain, go to the hospital and they’ll do an ECG and tests. They’ll tell you”.
“So… I go to the hospital and wait there?”
“Yeah just go to the hospital”.
“Can’t you give me a referral to a specialist instead of going to the hospital and waiting hours in a waiting room?”
“No just go to the hospital when you have pains. It’s the only way to find out”.
This is really weird to be advising. Especially when there are literally campaigns happening right now advising people that the hospital emergencies are so understaffed and maxed out with people going in there for reasons that are not emergency related. They are telling people to speak WITH YOUR DOCTOR or call the Nurse on call line before you decide to call an ambulance or rock up. But sure… lets throw me into the system to fuck it up more. But here’s when the boat really started rocking.
“Ummm, to be honest I don’t really feel comfortable going to the hospital and sitting there with people who may be sick because I’m not vaccinated” I honestly advised him.
Hence why I thought the hospital emergency was one of the last places I wanted to be.
Well… seems me not being vaccinated was more offensive to him then me begging to be seen by a specialist.
“You’re not vaccinated? Why not?! Why are you vaccinated? You MUST get vaccinated! Why?” he asked.
“Well, for starters I’m calling you saying that I’m worried about my heart and I’m afraid to put it at risk of taking something that could potentially enlarge it or give me more severe heart palpitations then I’m already having. Especially when I don’t know what or if there’s something wrong with me” I replied.
And it’s true. All these things you hear about people with underlining health conditions have negative effects to both Covid and the vaccination. Maybe they had issues like I’m having but never went and talked about it. That’s what I was trying to bloody do! I just want to make sure my body is capable of fighting off any side effects I may get. And I made sure I told him I wasn’t an “anti-vaxxer”. But of course, it seems like if you didn’t run out and get it done as soon as it was available then YOU MUST BE. Well, I’m not.
“You’re putting yourself at risk! I’m a doctor! We’re sick of seeing this! Get the Pfizer. My whole family got the Pfizer” he lectured me.
For one… I don’t think suggesting someone should get a particular vaccine based on your family getting it means fuck all! I don’t give a fuck if they had it. They’re not me. That’s not a valid reason to advise this. By this point I was shocked. This was not how I expected the appointment to go.
“Look, I could have went ahead and arranged a face to face appointment with you and you would be none the wiser. But here I am calling you instead of going to the clinic because to be honest I don’t want to be around you anymore more than you want to be around me. I’m more concerned for how many people you come in contact with then myself”.
And it’s true. I can count how many people I see in a week on one hand… 1. And how many people does that one person see in one week… 1. Me! If one leave the house the other one is there too.
We’re being told that if we have concerns or questions about the vaccine to speak with your doctor. We’re also being told that if you need advice on what vaccine would be okay for you, speak with your doctor. Sure. “You got heart palpitations and pain.. yeah, get vaccinated. Take Pfizer. My family took it. BYE”. What the fuck is that? How did this person become a certified medical practitioner? This continued for a good 10 minutes. He made more time to lecture me on his opinion (not medical advice) then he did about my actual reason for making the appointment.
But this is where the advice he was giving me got worse (imo).
“If you’re worried about side effects, don’t worry. Side effects are rare. If your worried about Myocarditis it’s mild. It goes away. Not many people get it. Your heart gets enlarged and in a lot of cases goes away. It’s mild”.
“Okay, but I don’t want to be one of those people and to be honest I don’t think it’s that rare considering I do know a few people who have had the shots and have had that as a symptom and are currently being seen by heart specialists to monitor it. I also know of someone who is currently still dealing with heart palpitations 3 weeks after the shot. Maybe you’re saying it’s rare for people to get hospitalized for it but people are still getting it and are concerned enough to take themselves to the hospital”.
This is another reason why the hospitals are backlogged. Because there are a lot of people going there with vaccine related side effects who aren’t used to feeling the way they do and are worried. The hospitals are taking them on, doing the tests, telling them “look.. here’s your results. Are you happy with this? If so, you can go home or you can go back and wait in the waiting room if your worried”. It may not be an emergency situation to the hospital staff but for the person it is. It’s a foreign feeling.
The doctors reply though was:
“If you have mental health issues, it’s all in your head. You make it worse by thinking it”.
And there you have it. Anyone who has had a side effect to the vaccine was just imagining it. Or, it wasn’t that bad. It was made worse by your own mind.
“Things are opening up. And you’re going out!”
“No I’m not. I’m not going anywhere. I work from home. I don’t go out. I don’t have friends. I’m not going to bars or restaurants. I go and do my grocery shopping. I wear my mask, I use hand sanitizer, I social distance and choose times to go when it’s quieter out. I’m no more at risk then I was previously and have basically been living like I am still under stage 4 restrictions. I know what me not being vaccinated means. I need to stay home. And that’s what I’m doing!”
“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I’m taking the time to talk to you about this”.
“Look, I appreciate it and as I said I’m wanting to make sure I’m okay first. That’s why I’m listening to people and doing research into what vaccine would be good for me” I said.
Mind you nothing I’m doing is illegal. Being unvaccinated is not a crime or outlawed and at no point did I say “NO I’M NOT GETTING IT!”.
By the end of the call, I wasn’t even responding. He was raising his voice at me and I was agreeing with him while holding back tears.
“Anyways, I’ll write up the wafer for you. Maybe things will change in January. Who knows?”
Yep, who knows?
I got off the call so upset.
Brendan came downstairs on his lunch break and asked me how I went. I just started crying. I felt horrible.
I felt horrible for being worried and scared. Not just for my health RIGHT NOW but also about getting a needle and at no point in this conversation was my mind put at ease. Instead I was made to feel guilty that I didn’t just rush out and get a jabbed on opening day. Nothing he said to me was a medical point of view. It was a guilt trip. I would have taken it more seriously if he cared and empathized with me and discussed the options openly but all I got was berated and made to feel like shit. I don’t get it. Is this what’s happening now? How was that discussion productive? What if I was actually someone who was against it, would that have been the conversation that won them over? Fuck no. We should be trying to educate people or at least understanding to peoples ACTUAL CONCERNS and not putting them down. Especially if you’re someone who is doing everything correctly and lawfully.
I’ve been told I should put in a complaint. And I’ll be making an appointment to go see my family’s doctor next time I go to see them.
On the upside, I went to the chemist today because I’ve had the shortness of breath all day and the headaches. Turns out I may know why I have headaches now. Seems the people who work as chemists are in the wrong field and should be doctors.
I told them about my situation with the head and right away the lady said:
“Do you have hay fever?”.
“No… I don’t think so. I’ve never been medically diagnosed with it”.
“You live in (insert suburb). You have hay fever. This is the worst place for hay fever. If you live here, you have it”.
“Does it make you feel drunk when you’re not drunk”.
“Yep, can make you dizzy. All aches here and here. So, try this”.
That’s all the damn doctor needed to fucking say! Even if it could be wrong at least there was some sort of questions and suggestions being thrown around.
Then I asked them about the heart. And for this convo the actual chemist guy came out. First thing he said is “You need to see another doctor”. It could be anxiety, but his concern was me pointing out the area and how it’s always in the same spot and to the arm. He said I need to get a blood test and some tests done. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THE DOCTOR SHOULD HAVE SAID!! In the meantime, he gave me an asthma inhaler and anxiety pills just in case it could be anxiety related. He said it may alleviate some of the issue, but I still need to get checked out. And if there is an issue the puffer and pills won’t make it worse.
So that’s my damn story….