Do You Think You’re Beautiful?

The short answer is – no.

If I take a minute to reflect on the question it’s still a no. Only by my own definition of the word. If I thought I was “beautiful” I probably wouldn’t put myself through half the shit I do. But at the same time, what is beauty?

Everyone has their own idea of what it is to them. I can almost guarantee that what I think is beautiful is not what others may think. And that’s completely fine.

I find “things” a lot more beautiful than people. I can’t remember the last time I thought a person was beautiful. I find actions, gestures, connections or even words beautiful coming from someone. When looking at someone I find some features “nice” but as a whole I can’t remember a time I said those things make someone beautiful.

In regards to my own self, it will always be a no. I can pin point the things I dislike but my overall judgement is based on me as a person. If I look at myself physically then I can honestly say I’m not a classic looker. My features are strange. I have a little bit more of something over here and a little less of another over there which put together (in my opinion) I don’t think is “beautiful”.

The more I age the less I feel it. At one point I think I was as close to beauty as I could be but then I lost it. So now, maybe I’m on the decline down. Who knows?

Personality wise I think I’m near it. On a good day that is. Once that day is over I could be on a ride of depressing emotions for a full couple weeks before “beauty” is back.

In saying all that, beauty is subjective. My weird features may click with someone who appreciates the odd nose or round jawlines of people. Those physical attributes may actually win against those featured looks you see every day that majority of people would classify as “beauty”.

In closing to this question even after I had a little bit of a think it’s still a – No.