I’m In Love With A Vacuum

And This Vacuum Will Suck Your Balls Off Your Body!

We finally agreed on a vacuum yesterday. It only took about a month. My carpets could not be happier for it. Our price range changed about 5 times but eventually Brendan came to see things from my point of view. This was going to be the vacuum that in 20 years times we point at and say to the kids “We’ve had this since before you were born and have never had an issue. It still works!”

So we invested a little bit more than we initially intended and got peoples opinions on what they thought was the best to get. I spent a month of looking up reviews, articles and researching different models and brands but ultimately we agreed on:

Miele Blizzard CX1 Cat & Dog Bagless

I found it at a cheaper price which already was great. $100 cheaper than major stores. But the shipping was probably the best shipping I’ve ever had. It was Amazon level of shipping and it was coming from interstate DURING LOCKDOWN FOR BOTH STATES!!

I ordered the vacuum at 10:30am Wednesday, got an email saying it was dispatched at 11:35am with a tracking number the same day and it arrived at my house at 4:30pm the next day. 30 hours! What did it do, teleport to my damn house!?

I wasn’t complaining considering I’ve been waiting a month to vacuum and GOD KNOWS!! my carpet was crying out for some sucking up. It needed a good clean. And it got it.

My 2 dogs are shedders. And their little asshole hairs embed in everything especially the damn carpet even though they don’t go upstairs. Some how the hairs manage to find a way upstairs. And the cat… her stupid long fluff of hair is like cotton left in clumps. NO MORE!! ALL GONE!! I could have cried. Instead, all you could hear me say was “WOWWWWW LOOK AT THIS!! COME LOOK AT THE CARPET!”

I stood back every 5 minutes looking at my work like I was a landscaper judging my own detailing. It was damn good. The edges were great!

The thing glides around my carpet and tiles like a ghost coming for you.

And it’s so damn quiet even on max.

What kind of garbage vacuums have I used in the past? What the hell was I doing?

The real shocker is when I looked at the bin. The dirt! I was walking on that? What the fuck? I was amazed and disgusted. But I’m happy to know some of that junk is off from under my feet.

All I want to do is throw some crap on to my carpet and suck it up like they do in the infomercials. Get some chips, smash them up, toss ‘em on the carpet! How about some kitty litter? Chuck that on the carpet too then let the fun begin!

I’m so into this that I would literally throw my hand up to go on TV and advertise this beast like it was the best thing in the world and everyone should have one. Especially if you have pets.

I had no damn idea a vacuum could make me so happy.

Side note, it came to my attention today that me and this vacuum may be made for each other seeing as though it has CX1 engraved on it’s body and I have CXI on mine.



  One thought on “I’m In Love With A Vacuum

  1. Timothy Price
    August 12, 2021 at 11:24 pm

    That great it really sucks. Nothing like a good vacuum cleaner.


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