Moods In Decline/Extended Lockdown

I had to finish work early today. Everything felt like it was too much effort. I couldn’t be bothered interacting with people. It was as if I did, I ran the risk of completely snapping. So, I thought it was best if I removed myself from any potential issues.

I felt myself getting angry at everything. I even had to apologize to Brendan because I felt like my tone was too aggressive and I really didn’t mean it.

Then it was announced today that we’re STILL in lockdown for another “7 days” and honestly, I felt like I wanted to punch someone.

It’s getting on my nerves. And it feels like it’s going nowhere. The cases go up which means they WILL NOT let us leave our fucking house. Me driving to the grocery store is literally the most exciting thing that happens in my life at the moment. And I wonder why I’m gaining weight.

THERE’S NOTHING TO DO BUT FUCKING EAT!!

I haven’t washed my hair for about a week and a half. What’s the point? Not going anywhere. No ones going to see me.

It’s just feeling pointless to do anything. I even thought about getting dressed up and doing my make up but the motivation has left me. It was cute in the start of the 1st lockdown. Brendan and I would still get dressed up every Friday just because.

I think I need to take some time off work just to mend my head and my feelings. The weekend isn’t enough. I need a couple extra days.

I got a month sitting there in annual leave and over 2 weeks in sick leave.

At this rate, I’d probably have a break in my bed anyway so maybe I’ll leave the annual day for a time where I can use it.

I’d probably need a vaccination passport to do anything so I guess I will be in my bed for awhile longer.

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